Jen suddenly looked up from her homework and asked Meg, "Do you think Professor Baird is hot?"
Meg had become used to her roommate's non sequiturs and sudden changes of topic, so she just answered, "Oh yeah, definitely," and then tried to return to the book she was reading.
Jen smiled and persisted, "What do you think is sexy about him?"
Realizing that this was going to be a protracted conversation, Meg put down her book. "Hmm. It's his intelligence, I guess. He's obviously really brilliant at what he does. And his intensity is sexy too. He's so clearly interested in the material and engaged in teaching it. Not all professors are." Meg paused and then added, "Plus he has a nice butt." Then she looked appraisingly at Jen. "Why do you ask? Are you planning on coming on to him or something?"
"No," Jen frowned. "It wouldn't work if I did."
Meg said, "Oh come on. You're so hot!" But inside she realized she'd be a bit disappointed in Baird if he went for Jen. She was a sweet person, and sexy in a superficial way, but not very acute intellectually.
"Yeah I know," Jen breezily replied. "But I heard from my friend Kendra that she came on to Baird last year, and he gave her this speech about 'a teacher's ethical responsibilities' and 'having good personal boundaries,' blah, blah, blah." Jen concluded, "So he's probably gay or something."
"Yeaaaaaaah," Meg said slowly, and turned back to her book, trying hard not to show on her face the condescension she was feeling toward Jen at that moment. But instead of reading, she thought some more about Baird. He WAS so damn smart. And his intensity WAS really arresting. It was like he looked inside your soul when he talked to you. And he was forbidden fruit because he was a teacher. And, most of all, he had personal ethical scruples against student-teacher relationships. "It would take a very special student," Meg reflected, "to seduce a guy like that." A wicked grin spread across her face.
Getting dressed for class the next day, Meg put to use some advice given to her by her older sister (who was her best friend in the world). At a point in high school when she was feeling unattractive, she told her, "Love will come looking for you. You have to wait for it to choose its own time. But if you just want to have a guy think you're hot, that's easy. You know what turns guys on? Everything! Just show a little extra skin, and guys will come to you. I know guys can really be shallow jerks, but women are often much tougher judges of their own looks than guys are of them." So today Meg wore a blouse that was cut low and a skirt that was cut high. Up to that point in the semester, she normally sat with Jen near the middle of the room where Baird's class met. Today, though, Meg sat in the front row.
During the class her focus was completely on the content of what Baird was saying. She had prepared especially carefully for class today, and she was the only one able to answer a couple of the questions Baird posed. She noticed happily his nods of approval. She also noticed that his eyes never wandered below her face. "Focussed little bastard, aren't you?" she thought admiringly.
She continued this pattern for the rest of the semester. She'd been doing great in the course prior to that point, getting nothing lower than an A-. But now that she was working extra hard on the course material, she had a surprising experience. One of her best teachers in high school had told her, "Your problem is that you are too clever. You can get A's without having to work very hard. But if you're not careful, you'll never learn to be deep, as opposed to clever." At the time, she had thought that comment was just mean. But she finally understood what her teacher had been telling her. Trying to impress Baird by working over the readings carefully, and meticulously re-working the rough drafts of her papers, she soon felt as if she had fallen through a trap door into another world of depth of understanding and interpretation. The thoughtful appreciation Baird showed when she spoke up in class, and his glowing comments on her papers, made her feel flushed with pride...along with other things.
With only a few weeks left in the course, she hit another milestone. She was writing some notes and looked up suddenly, and there was Baird, in the middle of a sentence, his eyes clearly focussed on her cleavage. She gave him a "you naughty boy" smile and he quickly looked away, continuing with his lecture. She sought him out later that day in his office hours. After a few minutes of asking about the week's readings, she looked out the door of his office to confirm that no one else was waiting to see him. "Uhm, could I close the door for a second? I have a personal issue I wanted to discuss."
Baird looked nervous as he said, "Of course."
Returning to her seat, she began, "I just wonder -- well, I know that different subcultures in the US have different conventions about what is appropriate or inappropriate dress for particular contexts. And, I think maybe I've been dressing inappropriately for class. I just wanted to apologize to you, because I think I may have made you feel uncomfortable. I want you to know that I'm going to dress more conservatively from now on in."
Meg managed barely to keep a straight face as she said this and watched Baird's expression go from mild fear to relief to sympathy. He said, "Oh, no, no, no! You have nothing to apologize for. Students have a right to dress however they want! I'm the one who should apologize for, you know, staring."
Meg chuckled. "Don't be silly! I'm not naive. It's not like I don't want guys to ever check me out. I mean, it would be one thing if you didn't respect me intellectually, but you obviously do. Right?"
Baird looked at her fondly and said in the most heartfelt way, "Absolutely. You're a great student. In fact, you may be the best student I've ever had."
Meg felt a catch in her throat. "He means it," she realized. "He really means it." She stared back at him in gratitude and affection.
They looked into each other's eyes for just a moment, before they both blushed and looked away. Meg cleared her throat and said, "Look, I do want to keep dressing the way I normally would, but I can only do that if I know I'm not making you uncomfortable. So you have to agree not to feel bad or assume I feel degraded if you do what 99% of the heterosexual men in the world would do in the same situation, okay?"
Baird smiled and nodded. "Okay, deal. I'm glad we had this little talk."
"Me too!" Meg said, and walked out of his office, wiggling her ass just a little bit extra as she did. On the way down the hall Meg thought: " 'Dressing the way I normally would' -- yeah, this is the way I would normally dress: if I were a hooker!" And she laughed to herself.
So the semester wound down, with Meg continuing to shine in class, Baird continuing to admire her intellect, and Baird's occasional discreet glance at Meg's figure, rewarded by Meg's smile. This led Meg to another discovery: the erotic intensity of sexual denial. Knowing that he could look, and she could show, but that they couldn't touch, made her desire for him incredibly intense. "God, I understand the intense sexual undertones in all those Victorian novels now!" Meg reflected. Worse yet, she found that her desire for other men (and women) had largely evaporated. Sure, she masturbated. She was doing that almost obsessively as of late. But this plot of hers had led to her becoming almost fixated on Baird.
When finals period arrived, Meg checked with the registrar's office to find out the exact date when professors had to hand in their final grades. She made an appointment to see Baird the day after that. She wore the outfit that, judging from the frequency of his glances, he enjoyed the most. This time, though, she wasn't wearing anything underneath it, except for a garter belt and stockings. She came into his office and, without asking, closed the door behind her. As she approached his desk, he smiled broadly and said, "How's my prize student? I want you to know that I handed in grades yesterday, and you got the only A+ in the class. In fact, it's the only A+ I've given out in the last three years!"